Thursday, March 12, 2009

Helping Hands and Hearts At Home

What is it about depression that is contagious? Maybe as women we just have some kind of sixth sense that allows us to walk in a room and "feel" the atmosphere, thus making it easy to pick up on the vibes of others then emulate them. This is a scientific fact, noted in the expression of our monthly cycles: get two women in the same household and they will soon be on the same cycle, whether or not they started out that way!
My 20 year old daughter has been battling depression for a couple months now and has finally reached the point where she has had to move home for awhile to help deal with it. Whether it's the pressures of working and paying bills and trying to go to college or something else, she needs her family right now. Well, that's okay with us. We always welcome our kids back home, no matter where they are in their lives. But I think I feel a little sad now, too and I wonder if depression is "contagious," at least for women. Men tend to be able to keep their own views and feelings no matter what else is going on around them. They are blessedly oblivious when it comes to matters of the soul. We curse them sometimes when they aren't sensitive or caring (no Mother's Day present for ME???) but when they can go to a party where two women are silently feuding and come home happy, it does seem a blessing.
So, even though I have been through depression myself, what's the best way to help someone else I love through this horrible time? What can I do to make things better? When I talk with her she tells me she knows that time will heal things, that she should do positive things, but it still hurts and she still cries. Well, her sister gave her a box of Kleenex and talks gently to her. I got her a stuffed ducky to hold, heat up the heating pad for her each night, and give her lots of hugs. I even battled a huge spider for her (well, it was bigger than a pencil eraser, and that's huge enough) and won! (I am usually the one begging for one of the boys or my husband to do that for me!) If anyone has any suggestions for some ways to help her out, please post them. After all, "to do whatsoever is gentle and human - to give and to serve in humanity's name" is what we do best!


  1. I know you will be shocked to hear this from me, but just because I don't do things "right" in my life doesn't mean I don't want to see others happy. I think one of the best things you can do in battling depression is to hit your knees. It is awesome that she has help and support from family and friends, because it's a very hard disease to fight alone. Having the extra help only the Lord can provide is a huge key. I know there are times when I prayed and felt completely enveloped in warmth. It was as if the Savior was physically hugging me.
    I have a talk on cd called "The Savior Heals Without a Scar" and it is great to be reminded that because of the atonement ANYTHING can be healed. Often my depression stems from low self-confidence. When you are reminded who you are and where you came from, and all the things that have been sacrificed for us to be here, how can you still feel worthless? I know, easier said than done, but totally worth it! If you can even just take a couple minutes to show what you're thankful for, he can start to help you.
    We all love you, and are here to support you through this. I hope maybe someone will be able to say or do something, and it will finally hit you, "I am loved" and "I am worth loving".

  2. I've finally decided to jmp on the blog bandwagon....well at least follow and post comments on one. So sorryto hear of your daughters depression. It can feel like a prison sometimes. My Mom suffers from clinical depressions and has been on medication for a long as I can remember and I have had my bouts with it thought not to the point of needing medication. I think your post just before this one has some answers. Being social and around friends/family that care for/about you can be one of the best ways to get out of depression. Try to get her out and involved especially with something that is fun, uplifting adn will make her laugh till her stomach hurts. I find that laughter turely is the best medicine sometimes. I send my love and prayers.

  3. Well, I finally decided to join the blog least follow this one and make a comment here and there. I think your post just before this one has some answers for you. Depression runs in my family as my Mom suffers from clinical depression and I had a run in or two with it myself. Being social, getting out with friends and family are great ways to get through it. I also take omega 3 supplements as it has shown in studies to really help the brain. My suggestion is to get her to do something totally fum with some friends or her family that the make her laugh till she smiles without trying. I wish her a speend end to all of this.

  4. Ok didn't know the 1st on epublished. New at this sorry! :-)

  5. I think you are doing all you can. Having battled the big D myself it is often the kind words, the understanding even when and if you don't understand the love that goes a long way in helping to heal. We all love her so much.