Week 4 and 5

Well, I missed last week but I'm not going to sweat it because it's just a blog! Ha ha!
One of the happiest things in life (at least, in my life) is a tax return! Yay for tax returns! Without them I wouldn't have some of the fun things in life, like a new computer or, this year, a new TV! What fun it is to have some money to go buy something you aren't able to otherwise. No, we're not rich and we don't have a lot but we are able to enjoy a few extras once in awhile because of good ol' Uncle Sam. (Just so you know, our previous TV was purchased in 1997...)
So, for the other good news in my life, well, it's all about being healthy. I've actually improved my physical self a little by working out and Lee and I have been studying about vitamins and minerals and all that kind of thing. We came across several things on the internet and through various people and places and it is a very curious thing, the human body. According to the things we have learned so far we have decided that anyone who doesn't believe in a higher power being in control hasn't studied enough on this subject. It is amazing how this world works and how everything connects. Here's an example.
This past week we learned about bones and how calcium works in the bones. We are going to try some supplements that are supposed to help in the rejuvenating process and keep your bones healthy. I'm excited to try it because I have, of late, begun to feel old. I'll keep a short journal of it here. It should be interesting to see just how everything works...
Oh, got a new haircut (see picture above) and it made me feel fresh and alive. It's cool how a simple thing like that can make you feel better some times!
I'm working on a couple books but my laptop has decided to be slow so Lee has been reloading the software and getting rid of things so I can use it again. I'm getting close to the end of Tymberfeld 2. My nephew Michael has been editing a little for me and it has helped a lot. Wish I'd had him around before my first book went out! :)
I have been searching forever (it seems) for my favorite quote and could not find it, not even online. I was going through some scrapbook things the other day and came across it. So I am going to post it here because it is very profound, I believe. It's from the book "Windwalker" by Blaine Yorgason. Here it is:
"One cannot submit to evil without encouraging evil to grow. Each time a man gives up a principle, each time he allows evil to destroy what he knows is right, or good, he is saying to evil, 'This man supports you.'"
With that in mind, let's make this a great world by making ourselves better.
Have a good week!

Week 3

Well, it has been a great year so far and I can only see more great things from where I sit, so I'm looking forward to it!
This last week I attended my first nutrition class at Curves and we all started our "Boot Camp" stuff, which includes a healthy, high-protein diet and exercising. My friend Jennifer and I are on the same team so we are keeping each other going. I have to keep a eating journal and I practiced last week and let me tell you, it was eye-opening. So I am hoping to lose some serious weight over the next few weeks.
Anyway, I have been working hard on some craft stuff and put a few new things on etsy. That's pretty much my job now. I am almost finished with my first crocheted Barbie dress-hopefully I will have it to post next week!
Lee and I attended a cub scout workshop and it was motivating. I'm excited to really get going with my Webelos. I only have one right now but it is so much fun to work with these boys. They are fun and full of energy, which frustrates Lee but makes me feel young! I love how 10 year old boys think - which isn't much of the time - but they are crazy and young and silly and I can totally relate! We do have a lot of fun. I miss Cameron, Zach and Caleb - who have all moved on to 11-year old scouts, but Jarsden is a great kid and next month we will get Paul. Lee is the Cubmaster now and it's kind of funny to watch him because he always grumps around saying how he hates kids yet I know he can really enjoy it if we get him in his little boy mode. Funny how I can complain that he acts like a ten year old but when they are around, he is suddenly a grumpy old man and I'm the ten year old. Oh well, we are having fun with our callings and being able to enjoy being together on Sunday during Sunday School.
I am getting ready to run the second book fair at the junior high and am trying to get together some ideas for getting people to come buy books, so that will keep me busy for a couple months as well. Lylia will graduate from high school in May and her mother will be here for a couple weeks, so we will probably do some traveling in June. We want to take her to California and Utah as well as Yellowstone and some other places. Hopefully we can save enough money to take them on a fun trip.
Well, that's this week in a nutshell. Oh, I'm reading the Percy Jackson series and it is very interesting and fun. I love Greek mythology so I love the stories. Good read if you like young adult books.
So, have a great week yourselves and remember: Success comes in cans, not can'ts.

Week 2

I have been getting into my crafting a bit more lately and even started a new Barbie 1900's wedding dress in crochet thread, finished a dove doily, created a new style hat and sewed an apron that's pretty darn cute! I enjoy this kind of thing but like variety so I keep several projects going at a time so I don't get bored.
The big news is that Lee and I made a budget, stuck to it, and actually paid our bills (including rent and tithing!) and had a little left over to go out to dinner. Yay Us! We were so happy and it felt really good to finally be so organized and on top of things.
We have also been doing better at Family Night and reading scriptures. I've even cooked dinner a lot more lately!
This week I would like to say how thankful I am to have my wonderful children. Each of them has been a great blessing and I know they are all meant to be a part of my life, including Bryce (my son-in-law) and Lylia (my exchange student). My children have each filled a part of my heart and soul with their personalities and loving, goofy ways. With all that we went through to decide on which exchange student to have come to our home, I know that Lylia was meant to be with us this year. She is a very special girl and we couldn't have asked for anyone more loving and sweet! And Bryce has been brought to our family by roundabout means but he is a great blessing to us because he is a great blessing to Shauna. We couldn't ask for a more caring, loving, perfect man to take care of our daughter. I really am filled!
This next week I hope to get some projects done and to start my new "Boot Camp" work out at Curves. I have been working out since December 4th and I feel so good. I've lost a little bit around my waist and am stoked that I will be getting into better shape! I love it. This summer we will be able to go hiking and boating and lots of other things more because I will be in good shape. At least, that's the plan...

New Year, New Life

I decided to take some ideas from my daughters, who are doing a "365 days of me" kind of thing, and post a new log each week, making this a "52 weeks of me" thing instead. With a new year starting, this is a great time to begin new goals, re-set old ones, and keep track of them here because, as the saying goes, "goals that aren't written down are just wishes." I also decided to follow suit with Shauna and write the things I am thankful for. That's always a good idea!

So, although the first week past a few days ago, here is my first entry. If you know me or have followed this blog before you know that I have struggled with depression from time to time. It's one of those things that stays with you if you don't always choose to fight it. I have realized many things about this disease and hope to help others with it. I am currently writing a book and hope to get it published. This is a very important topic to me. Anyway, I have chosen each day to be happy and it has worked. It is amazing how your mind and spirit can take control if you really want them to.

The other day I noticed my wonderful hubby doing some goal setting of his own on his palm pilot. He set goals to read the scriptures every day and say his prayers. He put these in a section where he could check them off each day. Good idea, I thought. Then I saw the next goal: choose to have faith. Each day he wants it to be his goal to have faith. That goes right along with my goals, I thought, in choosing to be happy or to find positive things in my life. But this seemed even more important because it is the basis for which we live. What a wonderful idea - to choose ye THIS DAY whom ye will serve. Each and every day.

Needless to say I have put that on my list of goals as well.

As far as the things I am thankful for, I must start with the most important. My loving Heavenly Father has provided me with the best family ever and some really great friends. I am very grateful for the gospel in my life and for the things my Savior has done for me. Not to make any of that unimportant or anything, but whenever I list my blessings I really want to put my fantastically wonderful (and very handsome!) husband Lee Allen at the top. Without him I doubt I would have the terrific life I have now! What a blessing it is to have someone so loving and sweet as your best friend, your eternal companion and your partner in everything. I have tested him in many ways, especially when going through tough depressing times, and he has always supported me, loved me and gently scraped me off the ground when I felt like I had gone deeper than I wanted to. I wish everyone could have the kind of marriage I have. Thank you, Lee Allen, for being my best buddy. I love you, I can't live without you, and I'm so glad we will have each other forever! XOXOXO

Make Up Your Mind!

I have noticed lately that things have been really great for me. I have been so positive and felt a peace in my soul that I haven't had in a long time. Why is that, I wonder?
To backtrack a little bit, I started this blog to help myself keep positive and to fight depression, a condition I seem to battle often. When I first had it I didn't know what it was. Years later I went through a deep depression and had to go on medicine for awhile. Now when I get it, I have learned how to overcome it without the use of anti-depressants or doctor visits. One of the ways to keep my spirits up and fight off the debilitating effects of depression is to keep a happy journal and this blog has been that for me.
Now, to move on, I have noticed that my mind has a lot to do with the way I feel. When I have wanted something very much, I go after it and nothing stands in my way. Is that true for all of us? Yes.
Well, if you really want to be happy, just make up your mind you want to be!
A few years ago I would have balked at someone who told me that. Depression can be a hard thing to overcome and it's not just an unhappy moment in your life. It's a physical condition that happens in your brain that causes your thoughts to be negative and sometimes worse. You can't always fight it yourself. (See www.depression.com for more information about this disease. Especially if you don't understand it. You need to.)
But these days many people think they should stay on medicine to help them with their depression. This is not true. You CAN fight it! You CAN get off the anti-depressants and live normal again!
Don't get me wrong - I have been to the depths of despair so great I wanted nothing more to do with life. I have sat in my closet crying without hope because I can't even decide what to wear. I have known exactly what it's like to know that I could seriously get a gun and put it to my head without feeling bad about it. I've been to that level more than a few times and at different times in my life.
This is why it is even more glorious news to know that I can beat the blues. I have learned to handle this disease and its crippling effects and you can, too. I hope you know that.
For those who have never suffered this disease or at least not knowingly suffered from it, please remember that you are the most important person to someone who may be going through it. Just a phone call or a note can bring them out of it. Is that amazing, or what? But it's true.
So, here's my happy part: make up your mind that you want to be happy! Look for everything positive about your day, your life, your situation and focus hard! You can do it!
And the best thing you can do - here's the secret, seriously - are you ready??? - is focus on someone else. When you are feeling down, do something for others. Go make someone else smile, make some brownies for your friend or the lady down the street who is all alone. Somehow, serving others makes us forget our own troubles and lifts our spirits. Wow, so I guess the Savior really knows what he is talking about when he tells us to do that, huh???
Peace is not a worldwide feeling until the world, one person at a time, puts it in their hearts. You can't force world peace but you can start with yourself, spread it to your friends, and then pass it on until the whole world knows about it. And I believe that peace comes from our Heavenly Father. He will help you if you seek it and ask him to help you.
So, make up your mind! Be happy! And let me know how you feel. I'm there for you!

Family, Family, Family!

Did you ever notice that Easter seems to be a very family oriented occasion? Aside from the most important meaning - that of our Savior's mission and all that it means to us - it seems to be centered on family togetherness as well.
I have never been big on the Easter Bunny or any of that kind of thing but I do understand the feeling of celebrating Spring. There is rebirth in the land and it seems to symbolize the "rebirth" of Christ when he was resurrected. I can understand that kind of celebration.
When my children were little we used to hide eggs filled with money and treats and let them search for them. That was always done on Saturday so that we could reserve Sunday for the true meaning of Easter. This of course is just how I felt about it personally and that doesn't mean anyone else is wrong. There are many great ways to celebrate the holiday. This was just ours.
And now I am feeling a certain kind of rejuvenation coming on that seems to fit with the whole Easter and Spring season. It seems I am moving on in life but at the same time entering a new world where I am just a spring chick. Although I hate to admit it, I am entering into the world of middle age!
Just as an eighth grader goes from the oldest at school to an itty bitty freshman, this phase of my life is part of the growth that I am wishing would slow down and yet a new beginning into another season of my life. (Since the alternative would be not-living, I'll take the age!)
I know it won't be too much longer until I really enter that next phase - grandparenthood. This is sort of like the summer vacation before I enter high school. My oldest daughter will probably be looking at marriage soon. My oldest son is returning from his mission in less than a month. And my younger daughter has already entered her twenties, making her eligible any time in the next few years to be married. (And next year my two youngest sons will be in high school!) So I am trying to prepare myself for the G word - grandma.
I know this may sound like I am pushing it but I really do need some time to get used to the fact that I will have two generations beneath me in the not-so-distant future. I'm not ready to be old! My hair says otherwise (more than a few gray hairs have surfaced!) and some days my body says so, too, but my mind is still stuck in the twenties. Could it really be possible that I have three children in their twenties?
The other part of getting to this point in my life is a certain freedom that comes with having your family grow up. On one hand this freedom is a little scary - I am terrified of being alone - but I have found ways to use some of my free time to my advantage. I have finally written a book, I have time to work on crafts that I couldn't when I had little ones around, and I have more time to spend with my husband since I don't have to constantly watch babies. So there is a "positive" side.
I decided awhile back that I wanted to live to be 100. If I reach that goal, great, but if not, at least I will get as close as I can before I die. And if our "real" age could be calculated by the average of our physical age, our mental age and our "wanna-be" age, I would remain somewhere in the neighborhood of 27. Thus, I will eternally be 27. Even when I'm a grandma.
Yes, I am determined to be a fun grandma who goes hiking and plays baseball with the kids. I think I'm on the right track so far but I do need to get in better shape. (Round is not the shape I want to be!)
Maybe if we all get together and gang up on Father Time, we can just stay young. Anyone with me? Of course, I'm looking forward to the next generation so we'll have to be gentle. I just don't want to look old. Hmmm, maybe it's Mother Nature we need to have a little talk with ...

When The Going Gets Tough, The Tough Get Tougher!

So we are sitting at the brink of yet another trial; another unemployment trial, that is! My husband's job just got deleted so he is looking for something new. Again. I guess more than a new job is on the calendar for awhile.
While I wouldn't recommend this for anyone, I've learned that trials come to us throughout our lives and that more often than not they turn out to be the mere 'changing of the guard,' so to speak. So many times when something happens, it means that the Lord has found something better for us. We just need to have the faith to hold out until it comes along.
My husband has been through this many times. In the past few years he has had to change jobs and careers quite a few times. On our credit score it doesn't look good: creditors want to see someone stay within the same career path to show stability, I guess. But doesn't it also show good work ethics if someone is willing to do whatever it takes to support his family, even if that means changing what he does for a living?
Lee graduated from college in 1986 with a Bachelor's in Accounting. He worked in that field for about 14 years until the economy forced the company he worked for to lay him off. Not able to find another accounting job, he found a job with a yellow page company and began a career in sales. When we decided to move back 'home' to Utah to take care of his parents, he found a job in insurance. When this didn't pay enough to support his family, he looked for other jobs. (The area we were in is in a terrible crisis for jobs.) He ended up working at a plastic manufacturing company and then eventually for a natural gas jobber in Wyoming. With the economy even lower now, he finds himself unemployed again.
So how many times must a man be tried? This question pops into my head sometimes when I wonder why we have to endure this trial once again. But Lee's patience and faith are high, his attitude positive and his willingness to be the breadwinner is amazing. We are all feeling like we will be blessed, mostly because his outlook is positive. Hurray for great husbands and fathers!
I know many of our friends and family are praying for us and offering their help in whatever way they can. That is the best feeling, to know we are not alone. We will certainly be blessed for that! And in a short time we will find out what the Lord has in store for us. For now, we'll just keep the faith!