Marriage Is Bliss!

I love being married! My husband is not just the man I married, but he is my best friend, my soul-mate, my confidante and my hero. And most of the time, marriage is bliss!
Now don't get me wrong - marriage isn't one hundred percent perfect every moment of every day. People aren't perfect. I'm certainly not! Even my hubby has a couple small imperfections. It's really just a matter of choice.
You see, I'm not easy to live with, I know. I'm moody and I'm a perfectionist and that is not an easy combination. How does he do it? How does he live with the grouchy, irritable, complaining ME? He chooses to look past all that and sees only the good me - the one who loves him back, the one who loves to spend time with him and fix myself up for him and make him chocolate cake. He has these "rose-colored glasses" through which he only sees my strengths and that, my friends, is the Secret to a happy marriage and a happy life!
So I try my best to put aside my own criticisms and fault-finding to give in return what he gives to me: forgiveness. That would be the second rule of marriage, if there was a book on the matter. There are times, I admit, that I push the boundaries of those filters he wears and bring upon myself the sadness of forcing a harsh reality upon his eyes. And I don't like it so I am angry at myself for doing so. There's no one to blame but me. If I left him to his own devices we wouldn't be in the situation so I can't blame him at these moments. No, when there is discontent and discord in our relationship, it's all because of me. I am the one who takes longer to forgive.
But I am learning!
You spend enough time with someone, you begin to pick up on the things they do. I have learned from my husband that the most important relationship in your life - marriage - is a two-way street. That we can forgive each other and, sometimes more importantly, we can forgive ourselves. I've learned that life goes on, that mistakes happen but that we can move on and be happy. I used to hang to things - you know, like a filing cabinet in my mind where all events were stored, happy or sad. When he would do something that made me angry, I would rush to that file cabinet and pull out all the things he'd ever done wrong and flaunt them before him. I lived so much in the past that I didn't always remember that those things were in the past. He, on the other hand, lives for now, for the future, which is why he forgives so easily. Why dwell on the past? It's over and done. Enjoy now! Forget the things you don't like and cherish the things that were good!
So now I have given up that file cabinet. I dumped it. Just pushed it over a cliff and brushed off my hands. And it feels so good! No more heavy burdens of past mistakes or embarrassing follies! No more fighting about the same things for years and years! No wonder he's so happy all the time!
I still have my moments. I don't bring up past events but sometimes I get irritated and want to vent.
He still puts up with me.
You know, there's something about being married to the same person for a long time that is comforting. Yeah, sure, that "new" feeling wears off after the first year or so. And then kids come along or careers or both. All that is just a refiner's fire. It shapes and molds us and we learn from it. Here's what I have learned:
When someone sticks with you through sleepless nights of being pregnant or waking up with a baby or being sick, you know he really loves you.
When you feel overwhelmed by bills and schedules and you call him on the phone at work, crying, and he stops to talk to you and calm you down by simply saying "It's all right," you know he really loves you.
When you feel moody and ugly and you stay in your pajamas all day and don't do the dishes and don't shower or put on makeup, and he comes home and tells you how beautiful and wonderful you are, you know he really loves you.
When you scream in frustration and throw a fit and lock yourself in your room because the kids are driving you crazy and you've had enough - only to emerge 20 minutes later to a clean kitchen and kids helping daddy get the house clean for mommy, you know he really loves you.
When you get up in the morning with a million things to do but you put it all off to bake some cookies and take them to his work, you know you really love him.
When you have those moments of "what is going on with my life!" and all you can find good in it is the fact that you have a terrific spouse, you know you really love each other.
And here's my favorite. When you get mad at him for leaving his shoes and socks in the middle of the living room floor but then realize he didn't even say a word about having to help fix dinner, you feel kind of stupid. And you know he loves you. Really loves you.
Those rose-colored glasses sure come in handy.
So when I say marriage is bliss, I mean marriage is what you make of it. Yes, there will be hard times. There will be moments when you get mad or frustrated but those are just moments. They don't make a life, they just pepper it once in a while. So you laugh about it and move on. You remember the good things and you especially remember how the other person forgives you when you aren't so easy to live with.
And you always keep in mind that this is a lifetime commitment. Your parents made a lifetime commitment when they had you. Your siblings come in to a lifetime commitment. You make a lifetime commitment when you have children. You don't give up on these people when they do something wrong. They are family!
So you don't give up on the one person you actually had a choice in making a lifetime commitment to. You just don't. You keep that commitment because, let's face it, when you're old and your hair turns gray (or falls out) and your body isn't as sexy as it used to be, there's one person right there beside you who remembers when all that was different. He was there when you looked so beautiful in your white dress, when you weren't so pretty in the labor room, when those miracles were born and you shared a special, tender, God-given moment and had the realization that you both just created a new life. You were there when he graduated from college, when he got his first job and when he got let-go, when he could play baseball without his knees giving out, when he could still carry you in his arms (because he was stronger then and also because you weren't so ... much more of a woman!).
Who else would want you now?
I'm keeping the guy who still thinks of me as that cute little 18 year-old he first met. And I like that he doesn't mind the fluff I've put on around the middle. He's got long arms, they go a long way.
Bliss? Not always. But comfortable? You could say that.
"Love is blind," they used to say. Thank goodness it is!

Why Idaho?

Some people wonder why I choose to live in Idaho. Well, it's simple, really. That's where my best friend lives.
You see, I used to be against living in Idaho. I don't know why, I just thought I would never want to live there. Maybe it's because it seemed so "far away" from everything. Or maybe because it is full of farm land and so spread out and open. I'm a mountain girl, so that was not appealing. Or so I thought.
But then something happened that I never thought would happen. My husband got a job in the neighboring state of Wyoming. He commuted from southern Utah, where we had moved a few years earlier, and it was a long trip, even once a week. So we moved to a little city called Rexburg, which is where his new company is based. It was a much closer commute (7 1/2 hours versus 3 hours) and we had family and friends there already. So off to Idaho for me!
Just a little less than 2 months later, his position was no longer needed. But the company hired him back at the local office - something that wouldn't have happened if we hadn't moved there. And now we are officially Idahoans.
It's not what I would have chosen, but I have found that there aren't many places on this big blue marble that I don't like. And now that I am here, I would choose it any day of the week. Okay, so the mountains are a little farther away but I have found that I really prefer farm land when I can't have trees and sloped landscape.
Some day you will have to come take a bike ride with me and get the whole picture in your head. It's not enough to simply see the area, you have to experience it. Ride past the fields of wheat, potatoes or hay and see how slowly life unfolds. Smell the air and all its flavors. Float down the lazy river and watch a moose stroll across the stream ahead of you. Stop and watch the cattle or horses or other farm animals as they silently and peacefully graze and realize that you're just in too much of a hurry.
Then there is the people aspect. As you enter the town on Main Street, you see a sign that welcomes you to "America's Family Community." When you shop you are greeted warmly by others who live here and love it. Or you may be helped by a young college student working his or her way through school. And then you return home to the nicest neighbors in the world. This is not a place to hide out. No, your neighbors will help you move in, bring you dinner, help you gather firewood for the winter, and stop by just to say hi. It's a simple life, even with all the hectic intrudings of our busy world. Mayberry, perhaps? Just a little. But I wouldn't have it any other way.
Yes, I live in a place I once thought would never appeal to me. Others think it's funny that I do, and I can't blame them when I was once the same way. But maybe that's a good thing. If everyone knew just how wonderful it was to live here, it wouldn't be the same.
So, thank you, dear hubby, for getting me here. And thank you, Lord, for letting there be a few places left in the world that are still so wonderful and calm. I have the internet and a cell phone to keep in touch with my loved ones and the goings-on in the modern world, but when those are put aside, I have peace and comfort in my awesome little old-fashioned town. If you have a moment, come sit with me in the back yard and sip lemonade while we watch the clouds roll by. It's something much needed in this fast-paced, selfish world. And maybe you will like Idaho, too.

Cheerful Aging

I just noticed something the other day: it is much easier to do things without the kids around. Okay, so I didn't just notice this, but I was doing some things around the house and suddenly I had this little light bulb moment. I was fixing dinner and thinking to myself "why am I still fixing dinner for so many people? It should just be me, Lee and two boys." Then I thought about why those people are here and I knew I was blessed, even if it is a little bit crowded and a little bit hard.
My daughter and her husband are staying with us for a few months to save some money and get into an apartment soon. They are in college and working and we are helping them out.
We also have an exchange student from Taiwan. It is a very great blessing to have someone live in your house who is from an entirely different culture. We have learned so much and I hope he has learned a little bit, too.
So here we are, all seven of us in a teeny little home. The three boys share a room in the "attic" which has a low ceiling that slopes on each side. (My boys are over six feet tall.) And my daughter and her husband are in the little room at the top of those stairs before you turn into the boys room. No privacy, no room to put much. Just their bed and a rolling clothes rack and a hamper. So we all have to give a little here.
And guess what? Our exchange student leaves the first of June (just over a month away) then my older son leaves to go on a mission for our church for two years near the end of June. Then my daughter and son-in-law will move out around the end of July (they think). And who will be left at home? Just me, my husband and our youngest son (who happens to be a senior this year). And then I will be left wondering who to cook for.
*sigh*
Just when I finally figure out how to cook for many, I will have to start learning to cook for few.
Well, life isn't fair, is it? Nope, it really isn't.
But I did figure out something else. I don't like a dirty kitchen. And when I am not feeling good, sometimes that kitchen does get dirty and stay dirty because Mom is not in there cleaning it. Or Dad. (My hubby is a great help to me most the time but I think he had so much else to do this weekend.) So today - feeling much better, I noticed, even though I had a headache - I cleaned the kitchen and made dinner. Wow. That felt good! So, family, if you read this you might take note that Mom is much happier when her kitchen (and house, for that matter!) are clean!
Ah, yes, I know - I will miss them when they aren't around. No messes to clean up, no kids to taxi around, no laundry piles in the bathroom to yell about, no - wait, maybe I won't miss this them THAT much ... *giggle, laugh* I will. Really.
But this makes me think ahead a little: do grandkids mess up the house?
Ha ha! Have a great week, everyone. And keep on smiling, it makes people wonder what you've been up to!
Denise

Do Over!

Happiness is being married to your best friend!

Okay, I call "do over" since I have not written on this blog in FOR-E-VER!
It's not that I am unhappy but perhaps because I have been busy BEING happy. But that's no excuse, so let's move on...
I can feel my life being blessed lately and I think it's because of many things, the foremost being that I have been working hard on blessings. Do you ever do that? We are promised that if we live right, we will receive blessings and if told that if we don't, we have no promise.
Well, I am happy to report - and give testimony to - the fact that I can see this working in my life.
I read a book once by a man who talked about "the universe" and how there is this thing about everything interacting with everything else. He even believed that when you give, the universe gives back. Hmm, how about that?
Yes, it is truth that no matter how you believe it, there is something about life, the universe and everything that adds up to more than 42. (That was for all you Hitchhiker's Guide fans). And I have seen it. I personally attribute it to my Heavenly Father and the laws of the universe under his direction. Choose your own way of believing, no matter what it is, but just believe it. There really is something about giving in this world that sends better things your way. And I know it.
Isn't it great to be alive and to know that when you do good out there that somehow it is making more good for everyone else and even sending some back your way?
I had a co-worker once who said she didn't think people were as good as many others thought they were. She believed that if one were to lose their wallet, it was gone forever. Most people would keep it or toss it. That's just the way it was. People were generally selfish and she was afraid of the world in general.
Now, this woman lived in a small town in the USA. It was a family-oriented place, full of people who were generally good Christians. She had never lived anywhere but there and yet she felt this way. Was it the news she watched? Was it just her attitude? I was always unsure about that. But one thing I did know: she was never truly happy. She always seemed to be nervous that something bad was going to happen, fretting that someone was out there waiting to attack her or a loved one. She lived in a little town with good people but she was afraid.
Now don't get me wrong. She was a good person, did service and even worked with children at an elementary school helping them improve their reading. But she just couldn't relax and enjoy life.
I, on the other hand, have lived in some big cities where you never spoke to your neighbors or got involved in their lives. I have seen selfish people on the freeway, on the streets, in the parks. But I have also seen someone I know lose something at the store and have it returned to them soon after. I have seen strangers help an old lady pick up something that was dropped or mothers look out for children they didn't know. I believe that people are generally good. I think they all want to be good but sometimes they are in circumstances that cause them to choose differently sometimes.
And I am almost always happy.
Attitude can affect us and the world around us. I think that maybe the universe also gives happiness to those who share it. Those who have positive outlooks tend to draw more positive energy back to them. It sure seems to happen that way, anyway. Take a look around you (or in the mirror?) and watch: those who are happy and have good attitudes tend to draw others to them. We are all creatures of light and we crave that happiness that we see in those people. When we make up our minds to see the world in a positive way, we are telling the universe that we are part of that energy and it feeds us as we use it.
Or - you can look at it this way as well - when God gives us a promise, he keeps it. We give good, we receive good. What an awesome concept!
So, wherever you come from - believer or not - choose to be happy! And if you haven't tried it yet, what are you waiting for? What's it going to hurt to try and be cheerful and nice to others?
Hey, there are some crummy people out there but even they can change. Besides, you have to know that there is that reality that not everyone is on the same plane. Some people haven't discovered how to be happy yet. And if you are aware that some are liars or bad people, just stay clear of any situations that might harm you. You don't have to be gullible.
And one last thing. Keep this motto in mind: If you loan a friend twenty dollars and you never see that person again, it was worth the twenty dollars!
Keep on smilin'!

A New Beginning

Things are starting over for Shauna as she once again moves home and tries to get on with life. I find myself a little envious of some of the things she has but then I remember the heartaches she has been through and the tough life she has had over the past seven years and I realize I am very blessed to have a secure relationship with a man who loves me more than anything. In that I am very fortunate. I'm glad it's that way, not only for me, but for her as well. She can come home to a loving family and secure home when she needs to. I pray every day that she will be able to find the right guy some day and have a great relationship at last.
We traveled to Seattle this last weekend to pick her up and move her home. Lee, Jacob, Matt and Lylia went with us and we spent a fun, sunny day in Seattle after packing up. Sunday was a long drive home (15 hours) but we made the most of it and had a few fun stops.
Shauna got an apartment yesterday and we moved her in last night. She will be getting a job soon at a bakery so she can finish her hours for school and still get credit. She will apply to BYUI and hopefully finish up a degree.
Lylia only has about 6 weeks left with us and I don't want to think about sending her home. She's just like one of the family and I don't want to give her back! But I'm sure her family in Brazil is looking forward to getting her back so I will make sure she gets on that plane, hard as it will be. Her mom is coming out here in a couple weeks for graduation. Then we will take them on a tour of Idaho and Utah. We wish we could take them to California as well but time and money are a little short.
Lee and I are so happy to be living here, even though Rexburg isn't the prettiest place. Or warmest. But it has been a blessing to live near Robert and Michelle again and to have their family nearby. We enjoy that. Plus we have some good friends here now and we like our home. Things are going pretty good, thanks to the Lord. We sure miss our friends in Utah and California but the internet is a blessing when it comes to keeping in touch with people. Besides, everyone keeps sending their kids to BYUI so we have many excuses to see them, or at least their children. We feel like we are in touch when we see all these kids.
Well, back to the same ol' stuff. Post a comment once in awhile so I know you're still alive!

Just keep swimmin'...

Well, it's been an eventful month with more than a fair share of events from great to sorrowful. What has mostly been on my mind is that I've had to help my daughter through another heartbreaking marriage and divorce. I am so sad for both of them but I know things will turn out all right, at least for my daughter. She has been practicing faith and turning to the Lord for help and He is guiding her and giving her strength. I have to admit this can be pretty tough for me as well but as her mother I know I can help her through this.
With summer on the way I have been feeling much more upbeat. I love the longer days and the warming of the climate. I am really looking forward to floating down the river, camping at Yellowstone, and having bonfires in our backyard. Lee planted irises today and we are starting to prepare for a garden and putting in some flowers around the house. Oh how I love this time of year!
Tyler has a girlfriend and she is just the cutest girl. She fits in with our family and is a very happy, loving person. I wouldn't mind at all if they got real serious ... :)
I made my first wedding cake for someone who wasn't my daughter! And it was so much fun. A friend of a friend, the bride wanted a lemon cake with raspberry filling and fondant on the top. It turned out great. And I did the serving cake as well, which I was told everyone raved over. That made me feel good! I think I will do this more often!
It's craft fair time and my friend Sarah and I did our first one last weekend. We are doing another one this coming weekend. I enjoy keeping busy with my crafts and will probably always do at least one craft fair every year, just to keep myself busy.
The happiest part of all is that Lee and I still love each other more than anything in the world. How is it that two people can love each other more after 26 years than when they were so head-over-heels at first? Somehow all the trials we've been through together and all the events we have enjoyed together have made us closer and now I can't even imagine what life would be like without him. Thanks, Leebert, for making me the happiest woman on earth. You are a wonderful man!

What a Week!

Okay, so I decided to do a before and after session and this is it. I look much better after, that's for sure! How does Lee even like me when I have no makeup on? Bleck!

We got a letter today telling us when Lylia goes home and even though that isn't until June 29, it still seems like it will happen too soon! We will sure miss her. She is such a sweetie.
Darci is moving home again. Just for a couple months. She needs to save some money to move back to Provo. So it will be fun having my little social butterfly back home for awhile.
Tyler got accepted to BYU-I and will start classes in April. His friend Katrina will be back then, as well, so he will be quite busy...
Things are going well for me in my Mary Kay business because I decided to put some effort into it. I went to a career conference in Salt Lake and got all fired up. Now I feel like I know a little more and can really get going. That's always a good thing - to feel well educated and more confident. Now to just start getting out there more...
I finally finished the "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies" book and it was all right. The author changed a few things about the story and added in the whole zombie element so it's kind of funny but at the same time, I'm not sure a teenage boy would want to read all the other parts of the story (because it's a love story) so I don't know who he geared it for since teenage boys are the only people who like zombies. Hmmm. Well, it was fun. A lady I work with on the PTO board didn't like it. So there are two opinions for ya.
Well, have a good week and keep on smiling. Every day is the best day of your life!

MMMmmmmm! Ice Cream!

Okay, everyone join me in eating an ice cream sandwich! Come on, it's yummy! And it's really not much to worry about, it's just one little treat... So this week I am thankful for ice cream. Of course, you all know that Wahlquist means "ice cream lover or ice cream maker" right?
What I am really appreciative of this week, though, is my husband. You may get tired of hearing about him from me, but every day I have something new to be grateful for when it comes to him. He is the best thing to happen to me and I can't help but brag!
He has been keeping the budget and doing the bills and I sure wish we could have gotten to this point a looooooong time ago because we would probably have more money saved up if we had. But he has been so good at doing the bills and taking care of things and I'm just so *sniff* proud of him! And he has also been good about being the dad and making sure we have family night and family prayer. We sure are blessed! It's amazing how, when you keep the commandments and counsel of our Heavenly Father, blessings just pour out! Thanks, Lee Allen, for taking good care of me and our family! You are AwEsOmE! I love you. And that's all you need to know...

Skipper!

Yeah, I know, I skipped a week again. But I was sick so it wasn't really my fault. :) You know, it seems like it would be hard to be happy when you're sick but I managed. I wasn't happy about being sick or that I couldn't go to Curves or that I was coughing a lot, but I was still pretty happy about me. I mean, I'm here, I've got a great family and a great home and friends. What's not to be happy about? And thanks to the internet, I was still able to keep in touch with people and not get them sick. Ha! Anyway, this week I am back to working out and all my usual stuff so I feel human again. Yes, I did feel like an alien while I was sick. But I read "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies." Okay, that is an interesting book. The author (the one besides Jane Austen) takes out a lot of the extra frivolous speech from the original (which is a good thing - Ms. Austen gets long winded!) and adds in a zombie element that my boys would all love - except that it is "Pride and Prejudice" so they will probably never read it. I'm not a big zombie fan - I could do without the gore - but it's kind of funny. I'm almost to the end so I'll let you know how that goes...
Well, have a great week everyone. I'm going to! Oh, and if you want to know some fun movies, here's a few I watched while I was quarantined: 17 Again (cute!), All About Steve (Loved it!), My Life In Ruins (made me cry, it was excellent! I actually watched it like 3 times!)

Craziness Approved!

I love this Quikcam! I can just sit down at the computer, snap a photo, and post it. Woot! 

Update:

*I still feel great. I've lost 2 1/4 pounds and 3 inches so far and I am taking supplements that help me feel so much more energetic because I am actually getting some nutrition. Well, it helps that I eat a little better as well.

*I just completed probably the best novel I've ever written and I am tickled to have it done! It's an LDS romance, you can check my Author Denise blog on updates on that one. I started a new book that should be just as fun. It's got some funny stuff in it.

*I'm not even close to being a grandma yet but I am practicing. I usually steal my neighbor Natalie's baby Michael during Sacrament meeting and sometimes during Relief Society. This is fun! I can't wait to have grandkids. I was just thinking about that last night and planning sing alongs and story times and hikes... I even remembered a silly song this morning that I should probably write down so I don't forget it! I'm getting anxious... :)

*I am always finding great stuff that is so positive! While substituting a high school English class in Nephi I found this one that the teacher had posted on her wall. I liked it because it fit exactly how I always feel about my friends. It's from C.S.Lewis. "In friendship we think we have chosen our peers. In reality, a few years' difference in the dates of our births, a few more miles between certain houses, the choice of one university instead of another ... the accident of a topic being raised or not being raised at the first meeting - any of these chances might have kept us apart. But, for a Christian, there are, strictly speaking, no chances. A secret Master of Ceremonies had been at work. Christ, who said to his disciples, "Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you," can truly say to every group of Christian friends, "You have not chosen one another but I have chosen you for one another." The friendship is not a reward for our discriminating and good taste in finding one another out, it is the instrument by which God reveals to each the beauties of the others."

*Special note on that: I tell Lylia all the time that God sent her to us. Otherwise, why would I have felt inspired to stop and talk to those exchange student girls last year as we passed their table? Why would I have felt the need to have a girl in our home when we have teenage boys? Why did we choose the Brazilian over the girl from the Netherlands, one of my ancestral homes? And why does everyone think she is my actual daughter? God knew we needed each other. I am so thankful for her and her family. I now feel connected to more of the world!

Week 4 and 5

Well, I missed last week but I'm not going to sweat it because it's just a blog! Ha ha!
One of the happiest things in life (at least, in my life) is a tax return! Yay for tax returns! Without them I wouldn't have some of the fun things in life, like a new computer or, this year, a new TV! What fun it is to have some money to go buy something you aren't able to otherwise. No, we're not rich and we don't have a lot but we are able to enjoy a few extras once in awhile because of good ol' Uncle Sam. (Just so you know, our previous TV was purchased in 1997...)
So, for the other good news in my life, well, it's all about being healthy. I've actually improved my physical self a little by working out and Lee and I have been studying about vitamins and minerals and all that kind of thing. We came across several things on the internet and through various people and places and it is a very curious thing, the human body. According to the things we have learned so far we have decided that anyone who doesn't believe in a higher power being in control hasn't studied enough on this subject. It is amazing how this world works and how everything connects. Here's an example.
This past week we learned about bones and how calcium works in the bones. We are going to try some supplements that are supposed to help in the rejuvenating process and keep your bones healthy. I'm excited to try it because I have, of late, begun to feel old. I'll keep a short journal of it here. It should be interesting to see just how everything works...
Oh, got a new haircut (see picture above) and it made me feel fresh and alive. It's cool how a simple thing like that can make you feel better some times!
I'm working on a couple books but my laptop has decided to be slow so Lee has been reloading the software and getting rid of things so I can use it again. I'm getting close to the end of Tymberfeld 2. My nephew Michael has been editing a little for me and it has helped a lot. Wish I'd had him around before my first book went out! :)
I have been searching forever (it seems) for my favorite quote and could not find it, not even online. I was going through some scrapbook things the other day and came across it. So I am going to post it here because it is very profound, I believe. It's from the book "Windwalker" by Blaine Yorgason. Here it is:
"One cannot submit to evil without encouraging evil to grow. Each time a man gives up a principle, each time he allows evil to destroy what he knows is right, or good, he is saying to evil, 'This man supports you.'"
With that in mind, let's make this a great world by making ourselves better.
Have a good week!

Week 3

Well, it has been a great year so far and I can only see more great things from where I sit, so I'm looking forward to it!
This last week I attended my first nutrition class at Curves and we all started our "Boot Camp" stuff, which includes a healthy, high-protein diet and exercising. My friend Jennifer and I are on the same team so we are keeping each other going. I have to keep a eating journal and I practiced last week and let me tell you, it was eye-opening. So I am hoping to lose some serious weight over the next few weeks.
Anyway, I have been working hard on some craft stuff and put a few new things on etsy. That's pretty much my job now. I am almost finished with my first crocheted Barbie dress-hopefully I will have it to post next week!
Lee and I attended a cub scout workshop and it was motivating. I'm excited to really get going with my Webelos. I only have one right now but it is so much fun to work with these boys. They are fun and full of energy, which frustrates Lee but makes me feel young! I love how 10 year old boys think - which isn't much of the time - but they are crazy and young and silly and I can totally relate! We do have a lot of fun. I miss Cameron, Zach and Caleb - who have all moved on to 11-year old scouts, but Jarsden is a great kid and next month we will get Paul. Lee is the Cubmaster now and it's kind of funny to watch him because he always grumps around saying how he hates kids yet I know he can really enjoy it if we get him in his little boy mode. Funny how I can complain that he acts like a ten year old but when they are around, he is suddenly a grumpy old man and I'm the ten year old. Oh well, we are having fun with our callings and being able to enjoy being together on Sunday during Sunday School.
I am getting ready to run the second book fair at the junior high and am trying to get together some ideas for getting people to come buy books, so that will keep me busy for a couple months as well. Lylia will graduate from high school in May and her mother will be here for a couple weeks, so we will probably do some traveling in June. We want to take her to California and Utah as well as Yellowstone and some other places. Hopefully we can save enough money to take them on a fun trip.
Well, that's this week in a nutshell. Oh, I'm reading the Percy Jackson series and it is very interesting and fun. I love Greek mythology so I love the stories. Good read if you like young adult books.
So, have a great week yourselves and remember: Success comes in cans, not can'ts.

Week 2

I have been getting into my crafting a bit more lately and even started a new Barbie 1900's wedding dress in crochet thread, finished a dove doily, created a new style hat and sewed an apron that's pretty darn cute! I enjoy this kind of thing but like variety so I keep several projects going at a time so I don't get bored.
The big news is that Lee and I made a budget, stuck to it, and actually paid our bills (including rent and tithing!) and had a little left over to go out to dinner. Yay Us! We were so happy and it felt really good to finally be so organized and on top of things.
We have also been doing better at Family Night and reading scriptures. I've even cooked dinner a lot more lately!
This week I would like to say how thankful I am to have my wonderful children. Each of them has been a great blessing and I know they are all meant to be a part of my life, including Bryce (my son-in-law) and Lylia (my exchange student). My children have each filled a part of my heart and soul with their personalities and loving, goofy ways. With all that we went through to decide on which exchange student to have come to our home, I know that Lylia was meant to be with us this year. She is a very special girl and we couldn't have asked for anyone more loving and sweet! And Bryce has been brought to our family by roundabout means but he is a great blessing to us because he is a great blessing to Shauna. We couldn't ask for a more caring, loving, perfect man to take care of our daughter. I really am filled!
This next week I hope to get some projects done and to start my new "Boot Camp" work out at Curves. I have been working out since December 4th and I feel so good. I've lost a little bit around my waist and am stoked that I will be getting into better shape! I love it. This summer we will be able to go hiking and boating and lots of other things more because I will be in good shape. At least, that's the plan...

New Year, New Life

I decided to take some ideas from my daughters, who are doing a "365 days of me" kind of thing, and post a new log each week, making this a "52 weeks of me" thing instead. With a new year starting, this is a great time to begin new goals, re-set old ones, and keep track of them here because, as the saying goes, "goals that aren't written down are just wishes." I also decided to follow suit with Shauna and write the things I am thankful for. That's always a good idea!

So, although the first week past a few days ago, here is my first entry. If you know me or have followed this blog before you know that I have struggled with depression from time to time. It's one of those things that stays with you if you don't always choose to fight it. I have realized many things about this disease and hope to help others with it. I am currently writing a book and hope to get it published. This is a very important topic to me. Anyway, I have chosen each day to be happy and it has worked. It is amazing how your mind and spirit can take control if you really want them to.

The other day I noticed my wonderful hubby doing some goal setting of his own on his palm pilot. He set goals to read the scriptures every day and say his prayers. He put these in a section where he could check them off each day. Good idea, I thought. Then I saw the next goal: choose to have faith. Each day he wants it to be his goal to have faith. That goes right along with my goals, I thought, in choosing to be happy or to find positive things in my life. But this seemed even more important because it is the basis for which we live. What a wonderful idea - to choose ye THIS DAY whom ye will serve. Each and every day.

Needless to say I have put that on my list of goals as well.

As far as the things I am thankful for, I must start with the most important. My loving Heavenly Father has provided me with the best family ever and some really great friends. I am very grateful for the gospel in my life and for the things my Savior has done for me. Not to make any of that unimportant or anything, but whenever I list my blessings I really want to put my fantastically wonderful (and very handsome!) husband Lee Allen at the top. Without him I doubt I would have the terrific life I have now! What a blessing it is to have someone so loving and sweet as your best friend, your eternal companion and your partner in everything. I have tested him in many ways, especially when going through tough depressing times, and he has always supported me, loved me and gently scraped me off the ground when I felt like I had gone deeper than I wanted to. I wish everyone could have the kind of marriage I have. Thank you, Lee Allen, for being my best buddy. I love you, I can't live without you, and I'm so glad we will have each other forever! XOXOXO

Make Up Your Mind!

I have noticed lately that things have been really great for me. I have been so positive and felt a peace in my soul that I haven't had in a long time. Why is that, I wonder?
To backtrack a little bit, I started this blog to help myself keep positive and to fight depression, a condition I seem to battle often. When I first had it I didn't know what it was. Years later I went through a deep depression and had to go on medicine for awhile. Now when I get it, I have learned how to overcome it without the use of anti-depressants or doctor visits. One of the ways to keep my spirits up and fight off the debilitating effects of depression is to keep a happy journal and this blog has been that for me.
Now, to move on, I have noticed that my mind has a lot to do with the way I feel. When I have wanted something very much, I go after it and nothing stands in my way. Is that true for all of us? Yes.
Well, if you really want to be happy, just make up your mind you want to be!
A few years ago I would have balked at someone who told me that. Depression can be a hard thing to overcome and it's not just an unhappy moment in your life. It's a physical condition that happens in your brain that causes your thoughts to be negative and sometimes worse. You can't always fight it yourself. (See www.depression.com for more information about this disease. Especially if you don't understand it. You need to.)
But these days many people think they should stay on medicine to help them with their depression. This is not true. You CAN fight it! You CAN get off the anti-depressants and live normal again!
Don't get me wrong - I have been to the depths of despair so great I wanted nothing more to do with life. I have sat in my closet crying without hope because I can't even decide what to wear. I have known exactly what it's like to know that I could seriously get a gun and put it to my head without feeling bad about it. I've been to that level more than a few times and at different times in my life.
This is why it is even more glorious news to know that I can beat the blues. I have learned to handle this disease and its crippling effects and you can, too. I hope you know that.
For those who have never suffered this disease or at least not knowingly suffered from it, please remember that you are the most important person to someone who may be going through it. Just a phone call or a note can bring them out of it. Is that amazing, or what? But it's true.
So, here's my happy part: make up your mind that you want to be happy! Look for everything positive about your day, your life, your situation and focus hard! You can do it!
And the best thing you can do - here's the secret, seriously - are you ready??? - is focus on someone else. When you are feeling down, do something for others. Go make someone else smile, make some brownies for your friend or the lady down the street who is all alone. Somehow, serving others makes us forget our own troubles and lifts our spirits. Wow, so I guess the Savior really knows what he is talking about when he tells us to do that, huh???
Peace is not a worldwide feeling until the world, one person at a time, puts it in their hearts. You can't force world peace but you can start with yourself, spread it to your friends, and then pass it on until the whole world knows about it. And I believe that peace comes from our Heavenly Father. He will help you if you seek it and ask him to help you.
So, make up your mind! Be happy! And let me know how you feel. I'm there for you!

Family, Family, Family!

Did you ever notice that Easter seems to be a very family oriented occasion? Aside from the most important meaning - that of our Savior's mission and all that it means to us - it seems to be centered on family togetherness as well.
I have never been big on the Easter Bunny or any of that kind of thing but I do understand the feeling of celebrating Spring. There is rebirth in the land and it seems to symbolize the "rebirth" of Christ when he was resurrected. I can understand that kind of celebration.
When my children were little we used to hide eggs filled with money and treats and let them search for them. That was always done on Saturday so that we could reserve Sunday for the true meaning of Easter. This of course is just how I felt about it personally and that doesn't mean anyone else is wrong. There are many great ways to celebrate the holiday. This was just ours.
And now I am feeling a certain kind of rejuvenation coming on that seems to fit with the whole Easter and Spring season. It seems I am moving on in life but at the same time entering a new world where I am just a spring chick. Although I hate to admit it, I am entering into the world of middle age!
Just as an eighth grader goes from the oldest at school to an itty bitty freshman, this phase of my life is part of the growth that I am wishing would slow down and yet a new beginning into another season of my life. (Since the alternative would be not-living, I'll take the age!)
I know it won't be too much longer until I really enter that next phase - grandparenthood. This is sort of like the summer vacation before I enter high school. My oldest daughter will probably be looking at marriage soon. My oldest son is returning from his mission in less than a month. And my younger daughter has already entered her twenties, making her eligible any time in the next few years to be married. (And next year my two youngest sons will be in high school!) So I am trying to prepare myself for the G word - grandma.
I know this may sound like I am pushing it but I really do need some time to get used to the fact that I will have two generations beneath me in the not-so-distant future. I'm not ready to be old! My hair says otherwise (more than a few gray hairs have surfaced!) and some days my body says so, too, but my mind is still stuck in the twenties. Could it really be possible that I have three children in their twenties?
The other part of getting to this point in my life is a certain freedom that comes with having your family grow up. On one hand this freedom is a little scary - I am terrified of being alone - but I have found ways to use some of my free time to my advantage. I have finally written a book, I have time to work on crafts that I couldn't when I had little ones around, and I have more time to spend with my husband since I don't have to constantly watch babies. So there is a "positive" side.
I decided awhile back that I wanted to live to be 100. If I reach that goal, great, but if not, at least I will get as close as I can before I die. And if our "real" age could be calculated by the average of our physical age, our mental age and our "wanna-be" age, I would remain somewhere in the neighborhood of 27. Thus, I will eternally be 27. Even when I'm a grandma.
Yes, I am determined to be a fun grandma who goes hiking and plays baseball with the kids. I think I'm on the right track so far but I do need to get in better shape. (Round is not the shape I want to be!)
Maybe if we all get together and gang up on Father Time, we can just stay young. Anyone with me? Of course, I'm looking forward to the next generation so we'll have to be gentle. I just don't want to look old. Hmmm, maybe it's Mother Nature we need to have a little talk with ...

When The Going Gets Tough, The Tough Get Tougher!

So we are sitting at the brink of yet another trial; another unemployment trial, that is! My husband's job just got deleted so he is looking for something new. Again. I guess more than a new job is on the calendar for awhile.
While I wouldn't recommend this for anyone, I've learned that trials come to us throughout our lives and that more often than not they turn out to be the mere 'changing of the guard,' so to speak. So many times when something happens, it means that the Lord has found something better for us. We just need to have the faith to hold out until it comes along.
My husband has been through this many times. In the past few years he has had to change jobs and careers quite a few times. On our credit score it doesn't look good: creditors want to see someone stay within the same career path to show stability, I guess. But doesn't it also show good work ethics if someone is willing to do whatever it takes to support his family, even if that means changing what he does for a living?
Lee graduated from college in 1986 with a Bachelor's in Accounting. He worked in that field for about 14 years until the economy forced the company he worked for to lay him off. Not able to find another accounting job, he found a job with a yellow page company and began a career in sales. When we decided to move back 'home' to Utah to take care of his parents, he found a job in insurance. When this didn't pay enough to support his family, he looked for other jobs. (The area we were in is in a terrible crisis for jobs.) He ended up working at a plastic manufacturing company and then eventually for a natural gas jobber in Wyoming. With the economy even lower now, he finds himself unemployed again.
So how many times must a man be tried? This question pops into my head sometimes when I wonder why we have to endure this trial once again. But Lee's patience and faith are high, his attitude positive and his willingness to be the breadwinner is amazing. We are all feeling like we will be blessed, mostly because his outlook is positive. Hurray for great husbands and fathers!
I know many of our friends and family are praying for us and offering their help in whatever way they can. That is the best feeling, to know we are not alone. We will certainly be blessed for that! And in a short time we will find out what the Lord has in store for us. For now, we'll just keep the faith!

It's Been Six Weeks, Mr. Groundhog!

Just the thought of Spring coming to town has got me thinking of some very fun things. I am really looking forward to all the new growth popping up and spreading some color to the dreary world of winter. Not that I like spring (I really don't like rain and mud and the wishy-washy-ness of the weather), that's my husband's favorite season. But I am a shutterbug and love to take pictures of beautiful things like flowers, so I am looking forward to my colorful friends poking their heads up soon. Plus the coming of spring also means that my favorite season, summer, is getting closer to appearing as well!
So that brings me to my next thought: what am I going to do this summer? I love the outdoors and going camping and seeing new sights! (Which is weird because I hate getting dirty.) Now that we live just a stone's throw from Yellowstone National Park, I'm sure I will be spending at least a couple weekends there. We love to camp at Island Park and float down the river. We have seen moose there, right on the banks as we floated by! We drive to Yellowstone for the day and then come back to the campground and have s'mores. But other than that, I haven't done much camping in Idaho. I grew up camping mostly in the Sierras, places like Mammoth Mountain, Mono Lake, Yosemite National Park, Lake Tahoe, Angels Camp, Calaveras Big Trees, Sequoia Park and a lot of little places all through those areas that no one has even heard of. I could tell you a lot about California camping as well as quite a few places in southern Utah. We have hiked Zion National Park, Cedar Breaks, Bryce National Park, Brian Head and a few others. But I am, as yet, still unlearned when it comes to Idaho, Wyoming and Montana. I have been to Yellowstone, Grand Tetons and Jackson Hole. I’ve even hiked the Martin Handcart trail at Martin’s Cove. But for "every weekend" kind of camping, I am unfamiliar. Anyone out there have some suggestions? I live in southeastern Idaho and besides camping, I have a couple family members who love to fish. So bring on the camping ideas! And while we’re at it, tell me your favorite camping meals. We love Dutch oven stuff, s’mores (as already mentioned) and foil dinners. I would love to hear about some new ideas, though.
And just so you know, we are hoping to go to Mount Rushmore some time this summer, too. Anyone been there? Where’s the best place to stay?
So, bring it on, everyone! And let’s make this a happy day!

Chef Wars At Home

So my oldest daughter and I have been having a competition with our chef abilities, much to the delight of my husband and sons. It all started when she decided to go to culinary school and began fixing all sorts of different and delicious meals. This got me wanting to do the same so I fired myself up and got on the bandwagon. She also has been trying to figure out ways to make healthier meals and got me totally hooked on "The Sneaky Chef" books. I have been trying new things, trying to cook healthier, and have actually enjoyed making food for everyone. You have to understand that when my kids were younger I hated cooking because A) nobody appreciated the effort I went through, B) there was always at least one or two kids who didn't like something and C) it was just another mess I had to clean up later. So Lee did most the cooking in those days. He didn't mind. And he did a pretty good job of keeping us from starving to death! It was great to have someone else help me out at the end of a long day of chasing babies, so I love him for all of that!
But now it's his turn to enjoy a meal that he didn't have to fix. I have kids who are old enough now to help out, clean up, and just eat up, shut up or go without!
Now that I am in the kitchen more, I have discovered a few fun things; that there are a lot of cool gadgets out there that our mothers and grandmothers never had. I have an automatic rice steamer that gets the rice done just right every time. I have a bread machine, a slow cooker, non-stick pans, a hand blender, air-bake pans that won't burn the cookies, a microwave, a kitchen aide, and a ton of Pampered Chef gadgets that make cooking a breeze! But what's my favorite, you ask? Well, I have quite a few but I will list just a couple. The first one is my garlic press. I never knew garlic was so much fun until this little thingy! I use garlic in much of my cooking now because I can actually use it fresh. Yay! The other thing would be my Kitchen Aide. I love that I can just put the ingredients in and let it do all the work. I have been trying to make homemade bread and cookies and stuff more often and this really helps. And did you know you can buy an ice cream maker for it? It's $80, so I have to save up for it, but it's on my list! I also want the pasta maker, but it's a lot more expensive. Ahhhh, some day ...
So tell me, what's your favorite kitchen gadget or machine that you like to use? Where can we find one if we want to purchase it? I'm waiting to hear all the favorites - it's almost dinner time!!!

Helping Hands and Hearts At Home

What is it about depression that is contagious? Maybe as women we just have some kind of sixth sense that allows us to walk in a room and "feel" the atmosphere, thus making it easy to pick up on the vibes of others then emulate them. This is a scientific fact, noted in the expression of our monthly cycles: get two women in the same household and they will soon be on the same cycle, whether or not they started out that way!
My 20 year old daughter has been battling depression for a couple months now and has finally reached the point where she has had to move home for awhile to help deal with it. Whether it's the pressures of working and paying bills and trying to go to college or something else, she needs her family right now. Well, that's okay with us. We always welcome our kids back home, no matter where they are in their lives. But I think I feel a little sad now, too and I wonder if depression is "contagious," at least for women. Men tend to be able to keep their own views and feelings no matter what else is going on around them. They are blessedly oblivious when it comes to matters of the soul. We curse them sometimes when they aren't sensitive or caring (no Mother's Day present for ME???) but when they can go to a party where two women are silently feuding and come home happy, it does seem a blessing.
So, even though I have been through depression myself, what's the best way to help someone else I love through this horrible time? What can I do to make things better? When I talk with her she tells me she knows that time will heal things, that she should do positive things, but it still hurts and she still cries. Well, her sister gave her a box of Kleenex and talks gently to her. I got her a stuffed ducky to hold, heat up the heating pad for her each night, and give her lots of hugs. I even battled a huge spider for her (well, it was bigger than a pencil eraser, and that's huge enough) and won! (I am usually the one begging for one of the boys or my husband to do that for me!) If anyone has any suggestions for some ways to help her out, please post them. After all, "to do whatsoever is gentle and human - to give and to serve in humanity's name" is what we do best!